If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
