i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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