Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
