On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
