Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
