Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
