dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
