Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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