One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
