guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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