did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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