I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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