i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
