Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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