I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
