i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
