Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
