You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
