It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
