brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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