She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
