Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
