Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This beer is not sobering me up at all
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
