some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
