Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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