I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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