he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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