Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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