you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
