he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
