I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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