the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Drunk is a universal language darling
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
