I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
