He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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