Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
