There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
soo... how was my night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
