How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
