I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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