This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
