Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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