used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
