idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
