you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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