you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
