he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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