apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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