Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
