So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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