Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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