Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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