I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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