i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
