i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
