kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
