Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
