I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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