ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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